Dear Emily,
I made a friend during orientation and she's still my friend, but I want to separate myself from her without hurting her feelings, especially because she definitely does not feel the same way.
Sincerely,
Conflicted
By Angel Fox ’26
Staff Writer & Advice Columnist
Dear Conflicted,
It’s great that you’re thinking about your friend’s feelings before wanting to move on from the relationship. There are some strategies you can use to help ease the transition. You can start by gradually spending less time together to try and prevent an abrupt and rather painful end. Expanding your circle during this time will aid in creating some space while doing so. This is also a great time to start practicing gentle boundaries.
It’s okay to want to focus on other things such as school work, clubs, extracurricular activities, and the like. College is a time for broadening your horizons and learning more about yourself and what you love. Shifting your focus may inspire your friend to do the same. If your friend asks direct questions about your shift in priorities, try to be honest but kind. Avoid “you” statements, and focus on your own wants and needs.
Understand that her emotions, and yours, are valid. These kinds of conversations and separations are never easy, and approaching them with respect and empathy will go a long way in preserving your dignity and hers.
Love,
Emily