Graphic by Isabelle Peterson
By Betty Smart ’26
Graphics Editor & Staff Writer
Note: Heart Eyes is rated R for “strong violence and gore, language and some sexual content.” Light spoilers ahead.
“We’re not together!” “Go kill somebody else!” My favorite lines from “Heart Eyes” easily sum it up in a nutshell. Centered on two people believed to be together by the couple-murdering Heart Eyes Killer, abbreviated as HEK, “Heart Eyes” positions itself as a hybrid of two genres that are often described as cheesy or schlocky: the romantic comedy and the horror film.
“Heart Eyes” is happy to display hallmarks of both, with love songs blasting during one scene and blood splattering on the camera in the next. It’d be easy to get whiplash from two polar opposite tones being in the same movie, but I think leaning into the weirdness of this peculiar love story really works in the movie’s favor. Despite their protests, the audience never quite believes that Olivia Holt’s Ally and Mason Gooding’s Jay aren’t going to end up together. Whether this adds to the stakes as they fall into greater danger or negates any comic tension from HEK’s misunderstanding will depend on your love for romcoms. “Romance Is Dead,” reads the movie’s tagline: that’s not the case for these two.
Truly, the romcom half of “Heart Eyes” holds itself together best. When it comes to love, Ally is a jaded cynic and Jay is an eager idealist; it’s a dynamic as old as time. And while their romance is definitely accelerated, Gooding and Holt have adorable banter in gentle scenes and make a believable team during more intense sections.
The movie also has some genuinely funny moments, particularly a disastrous marketing campaign that serves as the impetus for Ally and Jay being thrown together on Valentine’s Day. The absurd dark comedy of trying to convince a serial killer not to kill you by insisting that you’re single is already hilarious on its own. But combine that with a setup straight out of a classic romcom, it gets even funnier looking like a blatant lie.
The horror half is more of a mixed bag, unfortunately beginning with HEK himself. His mask is decently creepy, featuring heart-shaped eyes that glow an ominous, vibrant red… for a meager five minutes. However, without spoiling too much, “Heart Eyes” isn’t really a backstory-heavy mystery, which hurts it overall. Most horror killers have deep lore, or at the very least a compelling motive, that an audience can get invested in, but HEK has neither. HEK clearly has an inclination for showmanship, demonstrated through the crime scenes he leaves behind, but the movie doesn’t really show any more of that until the final confrontation when the mask is cast off for the entire scene.
Even if the horror doesn’t really sustain its momentum, it certainly delivers the gore; there are not one, not two, but three very gruesome kills. Oddly, none of them feature HEK’s stylish weapons, which are a crossbow with retractable arrows, throwing knives with heart-shaped holes and a big machete with brass knuckles on the handle. The other kills range from suitably brutal to blink-and-you-miss-it. Lastly, there are some fabulously creepy locations featured, but it could have helped to establish them a little earlier on in the movie. The best horror setpiece in the movie is the entire opening scene, which mixes a parody of artificial love with vicious gore and appropriate pitch black humor.
In the end, “Heart Eyes” works better as a scary romantic comedy than a romantic horror film, but it still might win over some new fans for both genres. I give it 4 bleeding hearts out of 5.
Madeleine Diesl ’28 contributed fact-checking.