Graphic courtesy of Rachel Kim '21
BY CHLOE JENSEN ’20
When you’re struggling with depression or anxiety, it is very acceptable to passively deal with it through a slew of unhealthy coping mechanisms: binge-drinking every weekend, smoking cigarettes, developing eating disorders and self-harm, to name just a few. While students are struggling with their mental health, it is very socially acceptable for them to engage in gluttonous behavior while completely disregarding healthy and productive coping mechanisms and labeling them as “neurotypical.” This is toxic and maintains the attitude that healthy, self-care activities are only for non-mentally ill people.
I am scrolling down my Twitter feed when I stumble upon one of those positivity posts that have small suggestions written in soft cursive, like “If you’re feeling overwhelmed, try this deep breathing app” or “Remember to shower today, even if you feel awful. You’ll feel better” or “Try reaching out to a friend.” On their own, these suggestions may not seem to imply a cure, but they certainly are worth trying.
But almost every time I see one of those posts, one of my classmates responds with that very classic meme response of “We can’t all be neurotypical, Karen,” completely dismissing the prospect of enjoying and utilizing good coping mechanisms. I’ve seen many instances where my peers struggling with anxiety or depression will refuse help and healthy coping mechanisms, claiming that they will never help them, and implying that enjoying bubble baths or hiking is somehow something only neurotypical people can do.
The idea that only neurotypical people can utilize and enjoy healthy coping mechanisms is not only blatantly wrong, but also dangerous: it conveys an idea that anxious, depressed and other mentally-ill people will be stuck in their woes forever, and that they do not deserve fulfilment or happiness.
We have all been bombarded by that yoga mother -— maybe she was a family friend, an aunt, a teacher or a cashier — who tried to be helpful when you told her you were struggling with depression or anxiety, when she merely responded with “I have just the right tea, essential oil or meditation technique for you.” And surely, we have all wanted to slap that woman across the face as she smugly and condescendingly suggested that taking up yoga would cure our mental illnesses. But what I am arguing is not for you to stop treatment or seeking help, or that these things would cure your depression; rather, if you experience depression or anxiety, you should not only seek the help you need, but you should also consider healthy coping mechanisms.
Many of the coping mechanisms I see, whether it is binge-drinking in the Delles, taking up chain smoking or screaming about your ex-girlfriend on finsta, fail to help you with your mental health. By seeking self-destructive and dangerous behavior, you are only further harming yourself.
In many cases, it’s much easier to engage in this behavior than it is to address your anxiety and depression head-on through counseling or other productive forms. When I was in high school first discovering my anxiety, I rejected many of my therapist’s tips to journal, take long walks or try deep breathing; I felt as though I was not worthy of improvement, and that it was much easier engage in the behaviors that made me more anxious rather than reflect upon and treat the problem at hand. I see many of my peers struggle with this too, especially when they are first seeking treatment. As soon as I stopped my stubbornness, the small things — the walks, the deep breathing and the journaling — did help my mental health; and although they did not cure my anxiety, I began to feel better.
If you are struggling with your mental health, you deserve to have beautiful and nice things, just like your neurotypical friends.