Photo by Jahnavi Pradeep '23. The Mount Holyoke Dining Commons has introduced a new initiative to encourage students to share tables and sit together during meal times.
By Hope Frances Simpson ’24
Staff Writer
I have gone entire days where I have eaten alone in the Dining Commons for every meal. It can be monotonous to not have anyone to converse with. Yet, I never go up to the many tables filled by my peers and ask to sit with them. In November 2022, the The Division of Student Life implemented a new dining feature attempting to change all that: signs you can put on your table inviting strangers to come and sit.
These signs read, “You are welcome to sit with us! We are happy to meet you!” They are stored near the cashiers’ station at the front of the Dining Commons, and all students are welcome to grab one.
I am skeptical as to whether these signs work or if they are just something the College has implemented as a patronizing reaction to Mount Holyoke culture, which some students have described as isolating. People tend to form tight-knit groups that are hard to get into unless you have an in-group connection. Flannery Plum ’24 said, “Although people may try, it’s a small campus, and people tend to stick with their groups. I wish it was more socially acceptable to sit down with others in the first place and that others were more welcoming.”
The flags seem to assume that students cannot meet new people without an intermediary to help them. However, they do little to actually break this isolation.
I asked the only person I know who uses them for her thoughts on the matter. Extolling the signs’ virtues, Plum said she didn’t want socially isolated students to feel as though they can’t have a social life on campus, so the signs can help people branch out. “I love the [flags],” Plum said. “I think a lot of people express feeling lonely on this campus, especially after the beginning of the semester, so it’s a smart way to make new friends.” However, even though she uses the “You’re Welcome to Sit with Me” signs, no one has taken her up on the offer.
On the other end of the spectrum is Constantinos Gonye ’24, who said, “I have sort of mixed emotions about them. I get the point of them, but I feel like it’s not going to fix the problem of the lunch rush. It’s like there’s two options: No one’s allowed to sit with me, or everyone can sit here and become best friends.”
The lunch rush that Gonye talked about starts around 12:45 p.m. when many students are just getting out of class. The Dining Commons becomes crowded, and sometimes large tables are taken up by just one person, so the flags may aim to solve this spatial issue. Based on my firsthand experiences, I can say that the lunch rush is pretty much the same despite the initiative. The Dining Commons is still crowded with groups and single individuals alike. If you go to the Dining Commons during the lunch rush, you will be hard-pressed to find a table, especially if you’re looking for booths, which often appear to be in high demand.
Next, I talked to Ana Branas ’24, a student cashier, to see how often they noticed people actually using the signs throughout their shifts.
Branas said, “I feel like no one uses them. They’re cute, sort of.” She also pointed out that more small tables would be a better solution if Mount Holyoke was looking to solve the lunch rush problem. If anything, the signs provide an opportunity for community bonding. Yet, students do not seem to be using them. However, student isolation cannot be solved this way if people are not using the signs. Additionally, the signs open up questions about social life on campus.
“Sometimes people go out of [their] way to be friendly in ways they don’t actually mean,” Gonye said. He also pointed out that people on campus have a tendency to be superficially friendly rather than genuinely trying to make connections with their classmates.
“I feel like you meet people here, and they’re incredibly friendly in a small-talk way, but they don’t actually want to be your friend,” Gonye added.
Similarly, Plum thought that people tend to be superficially friendly, contributing to isolation among students. To Plum, this is a problem that the signs can solve, but Gonye had a differing perspective. He stated, “I think that part of college is branching out and developing habits and skills for the rest of your life. You should be working on learning to start social interactions and meet new people.”
Based on personal observations, Gonye’s claims strike a chord. A big part of adulthood is navigating socializing without the crutch of things like clubs or classes to initiate bonding between peers. The signs are underutilized because even though students complain of loneliness, the social culture here is closed off. As adults, it comes off as patronizing to have such signs, even if they are ultimately well-intended.